L&FWhile doing our research, we stumbled upon some interesting facts about virginity we were not aware of. And since this topic is of “the utmost” importance in our country (and in other parts of the world!), we thought it was our duty to answer these 5 questions about virginity:
1- What is virginity?
Basically, it’s when you’ve never had sex 😊 Sounds simple put like this, doesn’t it? Actually…no, not really. It all depends what you mean by having sex. Is it a vaginal intercourse? Is it anal intercourse? Does giving a blowjob or a cunnilingus count as having sex?
In short, there is no medical or scientific definition of virginity! It’s a cultural and social concept that depends on the context you live in and what YOU mean by having sex.
2- But doesn’t a girl lose her virginity when her hymen breaks?
Well… NO ! a broken hymen is not a sign of vaginal intercourse (more info in our upcoming article on the hymen). Some girls are born without a hymen at all, some have such an elastic hymen that it doesn’t bleed the first time they have sex, others lose their hymen when doing sports (Ok, it is rare, but still). In fact, 50% of girls don’t bleed the first time they have sex!
3- Can I get a certificate of virginity if I’m am girl?
Please don’t! Okay, there are lots of Lebanese doctors/physicians who agree to sign a so-called “certificate of virginity”, but these are totally unscientific, as we just explained that having a broken hymen is not a proof of sexual intercourse. And to be clear, the World Health Organization and the United Nations have condemned the practice of “virginity tests” and have prohibited the issuance of certificates of virginity because they do not rely on medical evidence. Even more so, they can be traumatizing and painful, and they contribute to discriminate against women. So please, please, even if some doctors/physicians do it, keep in mind that these documents are not reliable at all!
4- So… how can I know if my partner is a virgin?
Well..by asking them! Very often when we think about virginity, we think about a woman’s one in the context of a heterosexual relationship. But what about the man’s virginity? What about homosexual relationships?
As we said before, there are no visible signs of virginity, nor for a woman nor for a man, and we all have different definitions of virginity.
So how about just asking? 🙂 It’s the only way to know if your partner had sex before meeting you. Just make sure to ask them what they mean by “having sex”.
5- Why do we make such a big deal about (women’s) virginity then?
It’s mostly a matter of traditions, where a girl and her family’s honor depend on HER staying a virgin until marriage. Obviously, men are not supposed to stay virgins, they are even encouraged to “gain experience” before marrying.
So seriously, can we stop this double standard and can we start looking for honor somewhere else than between the legs of women?!?
Sources
Interview Gaëlle Abou Ghannam, gynecologist, April 4th 2019Interview Interview Carl Jallad, gynecologist, June 4th 2019
Eliminating virginity testing: an interagency statement. Geneva: World Health Organization; 2018. Licence: CC BYNC-SA 3.0 IGO.
Podcast Hakawati, Sex Talk, “Virginity misconceptions”, Sandrine Atallah and Gaëlle Abou Ghannam https://hakawati.fm/episodes/view/398
Sandrine Atallah’s story (Lebanese sexologist): https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/18052816429036855/
Reporting and writing: Nada Maucourant Atallah & Soraya Hamdan
Translation: Nour Chidiac & Nada Maucourant Atallah
Illustration: Eva Besse
Editing: MJ Daoud